Most days I don't understand...

I really I hate that I come home and my mom yells at my like I am a 5 year old about how I don't do anything and I need to clean my house.
WHAT DOES SHE DO ALL DAY. Honestly. I REALLY wonder.
I would love to stay home all day and pretend to be useful while she goes out and does shit at my job.
I already put up with enough crap at my job that I don't need to come home and get bitched out too.
She really frustrates me.
Like she legit sits on the computer for hours and plays games, but then she tells me that I'm addicted to the computer and how I need to do other stuff.

I'm already losing my father, I don't need to have failing relationships with the rest of my family too.
At some points I feel like my dad is the only thing holding us all together still. Like it's like if he wasn't so sick, we'd all be split up.
This causes so much tension and we all get angry over stupid shit. And we yell and get fed up so fast.
This is doing NOTHING to help my temper. It's making it worse and I want it all to STOP.
JESUS CHRIST I WANT IT TO STOP. I want to go back to December. I want it to go away. I want my life back...
And if I could, I would take everything that's happening to him, and make it happen to me instead. I ask Jesus all the time why he's punishing my dad for my mistakes in life. My father does not deserve any of this. If anyone deserves this torture, it's me. Not daddy. Just... someone make this end. I can't stand it much longer.
I almost want him to die just so the suffering ends. I really won't blame you if you give up daddy. I love you, you never deserved this.