The Year 2009...

Now that the new year has begun, let’s look back on the last one…
2009 went by in an absolute blur…but it was honestly the best year of my life.

‘08 ended shockingly with the news that my dad had cancer.
Radiation began in January and my 20th birthday passed without much exciting happening.

February brought biopsies to the lung to find out the exact cancer type, but to no avail. We did not receive answers until March.

March also brought snow to our lovely state of South Carolina, and I had a blast outside taking pictures in it.

April was fairly uneventful apart from dad’s continuing treatments and me hitting my one year mark at my job. I also got employee of the month for April.

May brought the first of many vacations for me. Disney World and Daytona Beach with Cara and Bobbie was just what I needed to kick off my summer.

June ended amazingly with my trip to visit Ashley in Dallas. That was my first time flying by myself and I really loved getting to spend time with her and Leah.

July marked Gayle’s wedding, I was the maid of honor, along with our family trip to Hilton Head. The wedding was beautiful but I was glad when it was over since everything leading up to it had been crazy. Family vacation was tons of fun with 10 of us in two condos for a week in the absolutely beatiful HHI. The month ended with a free We The Kings concert in Easley in the middle of a baseball field where we got rained on the entire time, but it was one of the best concerts I’ve been to.

August was probably the best month of the entire year….
It kicked off with Kelly and I going to see Demi Lovato at the Bilo Center downtown. That concert was phenomenal.
My amazing gorgeous nephew, Austin David, was born on the 8th.
Ashley flew into town a few days before the HS concert in Charlotte on the 21st. ‘Charlanta,’ as we dubbed it, was my favorite memory as far as concerts went this year. Charlotte on the 21st, back to Greenville for like 3 hours of sleep, then drove to Atlanta on the 22nd, then back to Greenville on the 23rd. Ashley flew home a couple days later so it was back to Atlanta to drop her at the airport and pick up stuff for my brother.
My mom, middle brother, and I left on the 27th for the 12 hour drive to Buffalo and then the next day the five of my family and my uncle left for the 9 hour drive into Canada. Our week at Island 10 on Lady Evelyn Lake in Ontario was amazing. Beautiful surroundings, a peaceful week without connection of any kind, and spending time bonding with my family over a fishing trip. <3

September was brought in in Canada, and I think we could have stayed until October and I wouldn’t have cared… Nothing much eventful happened in September, or if it did I can’t remember it.

October was interesting to say the least. Towards the end of the month the 7 of us in my family along with 6 of our family friends went to watch the Buffalo Bills play the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte. It was a great day of spending time with my family and watching our favorite team win!! Halloween was spent at home with my parents for probably the last year ever.

November was fantastic. The 10th of the month marked my 3rd Honor Society concert, 2nd time in Charlotte. Our region was getting leftovers from a tropical storm that day and Cara and I still managed to look gorgeous.
Our new puppy Zorro arrived to us the week before Thanksgiving and he has been terrorizing us ever since. My brother Matt also adopted his puppy Duncan on the same day that Zorro was flown to Greenville.
Grandma came for a visit that week as well. The weekend of mom’s birthday was spent in Atlanta at my brother’s for most of my family…
I drove to Cara’s on the 21st, the 22nd was spent in Atlanta out in the rain and through insanity at The Loft to go see Honor Society for the 4th time this year.
And let’s not forget that show number 5 in Birmingham was the very next day. That was a road trip I won’t soon be forgetting. I made so many new friends from so many places and we all got to come back together for the new year. Birmingham also happened to be Andrew’s 30th birthday so it was definitely a party.
Thanksgiving was perfect. The 7 of us adults and the baby spent a quiet day at the house and enjoyed each other’s company.

December was the usual insanity with trying to prep everything for Christmas but also trying to deal with dad’s treatment options and the fact that we’re running out of them. The good thing about this month though was that he was off of Chemo for Christmas.
My brother and sister in law arrived Christmas Eve with my nephew and “niece” (dog) in tow to the house and took over my room until Sunday. Dinner that night was quiet with only 6 of us and the two dogs. After dinner we went to church and then had a lazy night watching A Christmas Story like always.
Christmas morning was boring considering my other brother and his girlfriend weren’t coming over till the afternoon. 7 adults, 1 baby, 3 dogs, a lot of yelling and miscommunication later… dinner was on the table around 3:30 and we all had a nice time catching up while eating. We finally opened stockings and then presents before Rachael had to leave for her job as a 3rd shift nurse at a nearby hospital. Cindy left not too long after since she had to work the next day, leaving Brian and the baby here in Greenville with us.
The day after Christmas I woke up at 3:30 in the morning feeling like I was gonna be sick, and an hour later I was. I spent the next two days in bed and in the bathroom thanks to a wonderful stomach virus.
I went back to work on the 28th for a few hours and then left early to come back home and sleep some more… The 29th was my first and only full day of work that week seeing as I was leaving the 30th for New Years in Hershey with Cara, Courtney, and Emily.
12 hours of driving, the longest drive ever in Virginia, a night of stalking other hotels and almost no sleep, a day of craziness with the Texas girls and Amanda and Co, a meet in greet at some random theatre, and let’s not forget drinking since 11am…. we got to see Honor Society perform for Hershey’s New Years celebration. It was everything I could have hoped for and I couldn’t have imagined a better way to end the best year of my life.

I hope all of you had fantastic 2009’s, and I hope you have an even better 2010.
Thank you to all of you who made this year what it was. I loved meeting everyone that I did. And thank you to Honor Society for helping me through one of the hardest years of my life and also allowing me to make amazing new friends.
2009, I will never forget you. <3

Pride.

These guys, gentlemen really, have come so far in the last almost two years that I have liked them.
From starting out in a basement, to touring with one of the biggest bands out there, headlining two tours, releasing a full length album, making a music video... It's been a crazy ride.
I'm so proud of you all, and I will never stop being proud of you.
Honor Society. Peace.Love.Duh.
I love the 4 of you more than you know. Thank you for making a difference in my life.

You're Not Alone

SAVAGE GARDEN

"Crash And Burn"

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Whatever will be will be....

I don't even know where to start this one.
Everything has been such a rollercoaster lately.
Mostly emotionally.

Home:
Neurosurgeon appointment was yesterday. The scan from Tuesday showed two more tumors in Dad's brain. Obviously that was a shock to us. Not like the original tumor shock, nothing will ever compare to that, but still not a good feeling in the bottom of your stomach.
Even with this setback, the neurosurgeon had some ideas for treatment and we have an appointment with the Radio-Oncologist on the 23rd. The first course of treatment is basically direct radiation to the head spots.

This round of chemo is really kicking dad's ass. He was super nauseous the first couple days, thankfully he never actually got sick. He doesn't eat much, and mostly just watches tv or sits on the computer or sleeps. I'm hoping this next week will finally get him back to semi-normal.

Mom and Dad are taking a cruise in the beginning of October. I think this will be a good opportunity for them to get closer. It's for their anniversary so I'm hoping they'll reconcile the things they've been fighting about lately.
Dad likes to yell, and mom is sad all the time anyway from dad being so sick. It's just one of those situations you never really know what to do with. Mom cries a lot, dad is angry a lot, and I'm just... passive. I don't really care anymore. I'm beyond letting things get to me.
But I will say, I'm really excited for the week to myself while they're gone <3

Work:
Stress. That's about the only thing work has been causing me lately. I really need my job to be someplace I can go to get everything that's going on at home off my mind, not something that adds to my stress. When I get home from work I'm usually in such a bad mood that it just makes my attitude yucky and I get yelled at by my parents for getting an attitude. Basically, I do enough to get yelled at about without my work making it worse for me.
I'm in the process of trying to find a new/second job. Hopefully I can pick up more hours elsewhere. I like most of the people I work with at Ross but I just need a change of environment and a change of scenery. Fingers crossed that I will have an interview soon.

Friends:
I get frustrated very easily with my friends. Mostly cause I have so much frustration at home and at work and then when my friends come to me to complain I just want to blow up on them because their problems seem so trivial in comparison to what's going on with me.
And when my friends start to drift away from me and get closer to each other I get jealous. It's like this mixed up circle of me not knowing what the hell is going on and I really don't like it.
I love my friends, they've been amazing through this whole thing, but that week in Canada without contact was awesome. I loved being able to relax with my family and not deal with the stress of carrying the weight of other people's problems. It really sucks when my friends are fighting with each other and then I get stuck in the middle of it. Two of my friends from high school that have been best friends foreverrrr are drifting apart, and only one of them feels the drifting. It's really just... upsetting I guess to know how quickly things can change. I know how it goes though cause I lost two of my best friends basically.
And I know that when you read this, you're gonna think it's about you, and I promise it's not. The people who this section is about don't even read my blog.

Love:
This one is probably most of the reason for the emotional roller coaster. Attractive boys tend to make my heart jump, but it worse when something happens and you read into it and then end up getting hurt.
I feel like I should get into the details, but I really don't want to again.
Let's just say I read into something that will probably turn out to be absolutely nothing and got really excited and then ended up getting really upset and crying the other night, which was stupid. And then the next day the guy ended up calling me and apologized for not texting me back because he had been crazy sick, and I felt retarded. It wasn't like I had even said anything to him about not responding, he was just nice enough to apologize, which was sweet. And I'm thinking if anything is gonna happen between us, we need to get to know each other better first. I'm sick of getting into things too fast and then getting my heart shattered.

Faith:
My faith is still wavering. I don't understand why God would be doing this to my family. Maybe to make us stronger? Maybe to make us realize how awesome of a life we've had together? I still try to go to church every week, but I know tomorrow I won't feel like it, not after how crazy this week has been. And even when I go to church it's not like I'm super attentive.
I guess I just feel like a part of me has been lost. I used to be super into my faith when I was in high school and ever since I graduated it wasn't the same.
And then last Christmas I just got so angry with God for putting my dad and my family through all of this. My dad is one of those people that does not deserve this at all and I really just don't get it...


I've had a lot on my mind lately...but life goes on, shit happens, whatever will be will be.

"I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I've learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land"

Two years ago...

It's hard to beleive that two years ago I was a recent high school graduate and in college for the first time.
Things have changed so much since then.
I miss my friends at school, but I don't miss how I was at school. I like to think I have become a better person since I left school. I've definitely grown up and taken more responsibility in my family.

I have so much to be thankful for in my life... Here are some awesome things that have happened in the last two years....

Good things!!!!
I left school and got to spend more time with my family.
I found a job that I sort of like and will be able to keep while I'm going back to college.
I became better friends with Kelly and met my other best friends on AJF.
I grew closer to my brothers.
I traveled to Florida and Texas with/to see my best friends.
MY NEPHEW WAS BORN.


Awesome things that are upcoming still...
My best friends being together all in the same place <3
Honor Society and Jonas Brother concerts.
Canada Trip with my family.
Buffalo Bills game in Charlotte with my family.
Tattoos with my locket sisters.
We The Kings, Boys Like Girls & Cobra Starship concerts

Ther is so much more that I can't even think of right now, but life is amazing, live it to the fullest!!!
There's a quote that I absolutely love that says 'today will be the best day of my life until tomorrow' and I try to live that.
I'm so thankful for everything God and my family have given me.
Thank you for allowing me to be me, and helping me become who I am.

Aunt Allison

Saturday August 8, 2009 is now the best day of my life to date.
My nephew Austin David Lippert was born at 7:52am. He weighed 9lbs3oz and was 21&1/2 inches long.
I got down to see him on Sunday, the next day, and he is absolutely gorgeous.
I'm going home tomorrow night, and not looking forward to leaving him.
He's a beautiful, healthy boy with a full head of hair, gorgeous eyes, and he smiled at us today.
I can't wait for the years to come.
I love you Austin.

Life as we know it...

Life as we know it... is about to change.
I haven't blogged in a while but I'm starting to make more of an effort to keep up with things in my life.
Like blogging, or discovering new things, spending time with my family, rekindling old friendships, keeping up with my nephew who will be born sometime in the next two weeks, eating healthier, getting back to my faith, and becoming a better person overall...
I started this blog to follow my journey to self discovery and transformation, so that's what it's going to be.

This is what we call chemo brain...

Dad is really starting to lose it. His head is so out of it sometimes.
Just now he woke up from about an hour and a half nap, and he was convinced it was quarter after five the next morning and wanted to know why I was awake.
He then proceeded to go into the kitchen and start making a pot of coffee.
As I finally figured out that he thought it was morning, I tried to convince him it was not and we got into an argument over it.
Eventually I explained it well enough to where he understood he had only been asleep for about two hours and not twelve.

It's really difficult for me to see him like this considering my grandfather had Parkinsons my entire life and some days his mind was super clear and other days he was hallucinating and didn't know where he was.
I understand that the chemo is supposed to be helping the cancer, but if I lose part of my daddy along the way, it's almost like losing him altogether.
And the thought of that kills me...

I Won't Look Back

Love, love isn’t always
Love, the way that we mean
Just like you are right now is all, all that I need

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top
If you won’t look down, I won’t look back

Love, love isn’t always
Love, the kind that you hold
I will be here waiting if you, you can let go

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid ‘cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top
If you won’t look down, I won’t look back

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid ‘cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top
If you won’t look down, I won’t look back

BLG = <3

I want to scream, until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson
I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep
So I don't have to make a bad impression
I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me
I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I won't let you bring me down
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight, I'm always up late, I think I'm everything you hate)
It's here and now I'm breaking out
(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I will learn to love again
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight)
But I will stand a broken man

Most days I don't understand...

I really I hate that I come home and my mom yells at my like I am a 5 year old about how I don't do anything and I need to clean my house.
WHAT DOES SHE DO ALL DAY. Honestly. I REALLY wonder.
I would love to stay home all day and pretend to be useful while she goes out and does shit at my job.
I already put up with enough crap at my job that I don't need to come home and get bitched out too.
She really frustrates me.
Like she legit sits on the computer for hours and plays games, but then she tells me that I'm addicted to the computer and how I need to do other stuff.

I'm already losing my father, I don't need to have failing relationships with the rest of my family too.
At some points I feel like my dad is the only thing holding us all together still. Like it's like if he wasn't so sick, we'd all be split up.
This causes so much tension and we all get angry over stupid shit. And we yell and get fed up so fast.
This is doing NOTHING to help my temper. It's making it worse and I want it all to STOP.
JESUS CHRIST I WANT IT TO STOP. I want to go back to December. I want it to go away. I want my life back...
And if I could, I would take everything that's happening to him, and make it happen to me instead. I ask Jesus all the time why he's punishing my dad for my mistakes in life. My father does not deserve any of this. If anyone deserves this torture, it's me. Not daddy. Just... someone make this end. I can't stand it much longer.
I almost want him to die just so the suffering ends. I really won't blame you if you give up daddy. I love you, you never deserved this.

One year, six months...

Found a song by Yellowcard called 'One Year, Six Months' (player at the bottom) and it got me thinking back on what has happened in the last year and a half. Let's see shall we...
Today is April 16, 2009. A year and a half ago was October 16, 2007.
Thing's that have changed since then...
-I am two years older than I was at that point.
-I became best friends with Kelly.
-I changed my major.
-I fell in love with the Jonas Brothers
-I dropped out of college and moved back home.
-I started working at Ross.
-I fell in love with Honor Society.
-I met the Jonas Brothers & saw them in concert.
-I joined AJF and found my second family.

But by far the most significant thing that has happened since then...
Finding out my dad has cancer. That was a shock I was never ready for. The scan was just precautionary. And I shouldn't have been alone when mom called me about the tumors. That is by far the worst phone call I've ever recieved in my life.You know that feeling where the pit of your stomach drops out? That's what it felt like. Along with wanting to throw up, scream, cry, and pass out... all at the same time.
I haven't really written about it before now. I don't like to talk about it. It's too depressing to even think about. But there it is, it's on my mind almost constantly. Something that's lurking and ready to pop out at any moment.
And it's not like I get upset about it really, or at least not upset in the way most people would expect. I'm pissed off. All the time. If I thought I had anger issues before, they've only gotten worse since Christmas.
Surprisingly for how much of a downer Christmas was this year, it was one of the best ones I remember.

And I know I say this quite a bit, but I honestly don't know where I would be without my friends right now.
Ash: You were pretty much the very first person I told, and that was cause I needed someone, and I knew you would be there. You've been so amazing through this whole thing and I couldn't ask for more <3 You're my twinnie, and you always know how to make me feel better.
Kelly: My bestie bestie. You're always there for a pick me up. And when I just need to get out of my house, I know there's somewhere I can always go. Thanks for welcoming me into your family when mine was turned upside down.
Cara: You always know how to put a smile on my face. We are so crazy together and I laugh at stupid stuff we do all the time. I can't wait to get to know you better.
AJF Ladies: Ohhhh my goodness. I have such a blast talking to all of you every day. We get into the craziest discussions, and I love every minute of it. Thank you for all the support and prayers you have given me over the last 4 months.

So there you go. I wrote about it. Now don't ask LOL.

Don't Forget

It's the days like these that I truly miss....
We were best friends.
But all of that has changed.
We used to be able to talk on the phone for hours.
I haven't talked to you in 3 months.
I still remember our doughnut runs and our late night cokes.
I remember being out in the cold watching our team lose, but still having a blast at football games.
Dinners, movies, families together.
Clemson, Mauldin, all sports were great.
I remember the time we went to watch the soccer game down at CU.
Gym class, 9th grade. Faking injuries, getting almost written up, and learning to play tonk.
School dances. Middle school and high school.
Boy issues, every single one of them, you were always there.
I miss you. I miss us.
You went to school, you changed. I went to school, I didn't.
It hurts to think about you, to think about what we've lost...
And I'm sorry we've lost it.
I'm sorry you've thrown me away.
Sorry that 8 years means nothing to you now.
Sorry that I'm the only one hurting over this.
Because you've moved on.
You've forgotten, about us...

Overrated...

Gavin DeGraw - "Overrated"

Take my home
Take everything I own
Take it, take control
You will feel better
You will feel whole
You're so good
You stopped me where I stood
And let me look at love and I feel better
Oh, I feel good
I just want to give it all to you
I want to share this with you
Make you mine and mine will be all yours
Whatever you want and more
What I'm anticipating
Everything else will be over-rated
Baby, it's for you, it's all for you
You speak kind
Oh, if you were mine
What would we be like?
We would be liked
We would be...
I just want to give it all to you
I want to share this with you
Make you mine and mine will be all yours
Whatever you want and more
What I'm anticipating
Everything else will be over-rated
Everything else will be over-rated
Open up
Let me fill your cup
I can really pour it out
It will be like...
I will be enough
I just want to give it all to you
I want to share this with you
Make you mine and mine will be all yours
Whatever you want and more
What I'm anticipating
Everything else will be over-rated
Baby, it's for you
Baby, it's for you
Baby, it's for you
Baby, it's for you, it's all for you

The Way Down...

You know that actions speak louder than words
I thought we were past that, forget what you heard
Pay no attention, better to shut out the lights
Than to find yourself at home all alone thinking

Problems won't disappear
When I look you in the eye something isn't right
Problems will interfere
And I don't think we'll surviveI've built it up so high

My teardrop waiting for the fall out
(This must be the way down)
And in one stop everything's a burn out
(This must be the way down)
Everything was bound to change
Never going to the same town
(This must be the way down)

Everything was perfect 'til the train went right off the rail
Like we were passed out asleep at the wheel
When you know you've lost it, there's no one in control
And you will find yourself too high, better try just letting it go

Problems won't disappear
When I look you in the eye something isn't right
Problems will interfere
And I don't think we'll survive
I've built it up so high

My teardrop waiting for the fall out
(This must be the way down)
And in one stop everything's a burn out
(This must be the way down)
Everything was bound to change
Never going to the same town
(This must be the way down)

And now that the smoke is gone
I can see that I'm all alone
Forever
I need you to come back home
And now that the smoke is gone
I can see that I'm all alone
Forever

My teardrop waiting for the fall out
(This must be the way down)
And in one stop everything's a burn out
(This must be the way down)
Everything was bound to change
Never going to the same town
(This must be the way down)

sick and tired of being sick and tired...

So since none of you knew, Dad had a bhroncoscopy yesterday. Which is a biopsy where they go with a tube down your throat and through your lung to try and get cells. Well they told us it was successful and they got cells so we would be getting results possibly Friday, Monday at the latest. And we were all glad because that would mean we'd FINALLY get some answers.
The doctor called us today to let us know that they in fact DID NOT get cells from the spot in the lung and well, still no answers.
It's been nearly 4 months since the tumors showed up in the original CT scan...
I'm so beyond sick and tired of not having an answer.

Also found out the JB are coming to Atlanta with HS opening, should be awesome. Hoping I can go since dad informed me today we might be taking our family trip to Canada then FML.
I really want to go to Canada on account of the fact that my father is dying and such. But this is HONOR SOCIETY. and JONAS BROTHERS..
If I can't go to Atlanta, I'm gonna throw a shit fit, and I am FOR CERTAIN going to Hershey. I'm not missing them twice.

So yay for being lame and ranting about dumb shit. Sorry my blog sucks. I'm gonna try to start picture blogging and having a picture for each day.

The title of this blog comes from the song Candle (Sick & Tired) by The White Tie Affair.
I decided to start naming blogs after songs and then providing linkage for you to go listen.
((http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1dDKy7BWtE))

Lovelies

Well it's been a while since I've posted. Not much has really gone on.
It snowed like freaking insanity last week, happy March??
Umm what else. I'm helping my friend Cara run an Honor Society fan forum, it's pretty sweet!! (http://www.ahsf.freeforums.org)
Dad is going to work tomorrow for a couple hours, so let's cross our fingers on that one!
I worked a double today. Two four hour shifts with a 2 hour break in between. The second shift actually went better than the first.
Had a nice chat with my manager who basically told me that everything I do at work doesn't go unnoticed, she thinks I should be employee of the month, and that I'm doing a great job. She loves having me on the team and loves that I'm reliable and such. So yay me for not being a failure! I'm so glad they actually do notice the effort I put in, because I was starting to get frustrated. It made me feel a lot better about working there. And my job is still secure so wohooo.

That's pretty much all that has been going on with me. Some crazy planning things for Junior High, and we went swimming saturday at the Y which was a lot of fun. Retreat planning meeting tomorrow night, which reminds me, I still need to type up the notes I was supposed to email my youth minister a week ago... OOPS.

I've read two new books recently. The first was called 'Fake Boyfriend' and the ending was pretty cute, the overall book wasn't that great. The second book was called 'The Best Girl' and it was awesome. I stayed up till like 4 in the morning to read the whole thing cause I wanted to know how it ended lmao.

A lady always reads to boost her knowledge.

Xoxoxo
Allison (Lady of retail)

Enough of that...

On a brighter note!!!
Kelly and I are going to see the Jonas Brothers 3D movie tomorrow at 11am. I'm very excited seeing as the day we went to the concert was the best day of my life.
The soundtrack is uberly amazing. I've been listening to it non-stop since I got it.
I'm really hoping this movie isn't disappointing considering how much hype has gone into it. But I really don't expect my boys to let me down. They never have before.

venting is never appropriate, but needs to be done.

taken from my msn convo with jamie... i took out her parts though... lol.

my friend called me crying today when i was at work. and i was like really, i dont need your issues on top of mine. cause its always really stupid shit.
i mean like. all my friends have always come to me, and normally it doesn't bother me.
but she was like
i'm so stressed
and i was like YOU are?!
like my friends that complain about dumb shit. k & b mostly. please, come live my life for a day
i go to work for 8 hours. i come home and my dads laying on the couch either barely awake or passed out with his oxygen tube on
my mom randomly starts to cry all the time
and i can't tell people this because its fucking depressing
the doctor yesterday gave my dad a year. the one today was more positive, but still... a year?
like. time is already going by so fast
and then you tell me that i'm going to lose the strongest person in my life for 20 years
and i can't cry about it in front of anyone. cause i dont want my dad to feel bad. and my mom needs me to be strong for her
i tend to get angry rather than cry. like i really want to throw a fit. and rip shit and throw it and break stuff

and that was basically my convo. sorry for the lame depressing blog. but this shit is getting pressing.

What the hell is a gas station!?

So here is another reason why I fail at life.... MY CAR RAN OUT OF GAS TODAY.
Yup. So its like 7 something at night and its dark and I'm on fucking Woodruff Rd and my car decides to shit the bed right in front of a gas station...
Thankfully these two guys pushed it for me. It was super embarrasing though. And my car hates me a lot now. I torture it too much.

That's basically it. Worked for 8 hours. Went to dinner with Kelly which was fun, as always.
And now I'm about to pass out. So I'm gonna sleep.
Yay for failing epically.